laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
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and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My dick has a subreddit
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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