Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
