i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
