Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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