woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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