Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
