Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
