Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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