____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize