one two three fourrrrnication!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
