We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
