She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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