I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
