friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
