I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
