this just has baby written all over it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
