everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
