are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
