What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
do herpes really smell.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
