I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
