So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you traded sex for a burrito?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
