i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
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Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize