We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize