there's paper in my vomit.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
