i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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