walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
