theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
