is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
