Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize