Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
