my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
