just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
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Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
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Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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