Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
