If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize