you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Mom said you looked used
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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