Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
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My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
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Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You don't make any sense
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