I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Randomize
