You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dicks are not precious.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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