I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
