I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
