we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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