I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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