Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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