You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just want nice things and good sex
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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