Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
