best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
