it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
im six kinds of drunk right now
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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