I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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