I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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