Quick, to the slutcave!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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