dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
