so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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