There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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