She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
