does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
