TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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