There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize