well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
